A Boy's Life, by Hanna Rosin, is a true story about a young boy, Brandon Simms, his mother Tina, and their time discovering that Brandon is transgender. Brandon had always enjoyed girls' toys, pretending to have long hair, and dressing up in his mother's clothes. He would even draw a person with long hair, red lips, and high heels when asked to draw himself in school. His mother tried to push some boyish toys on him, like army gear, and even took him to several therapists. At first everyone thought it was just a phase, but it never seemed to go away.
This story reminded me of my own family in a way. When my brother was little, he was very impressionable. Any toy he saw on televeison, he had to have. There was one toy in particular that he wanted more than any other; a Barbie doll. He begged my mom for weeks to get him the toy, and finally she gave in. She felt that there was nothing wrong with him to want to try out a girls toy. She was confident that he wouldn't liek it very much, but if he did that would be okay too. When my brother got the Barbie some other people in my family were not pleased. They were old-fashioned, and felt that little boys should not play with girls' toys. They really seemed to be scared that giving him a Barbie would "turn him gay." My mom faced a lot of criticism from some members of the family, but she knew that if my brother was going to choose the way of life that everyone seemed to be so afraid of, there was really no stopping him anyway.
When my brother finally got the doll, he didn't play with it for more than a half hour before realizing that it wasn't as much fun as the commercial made it seem. When he tossed it aside, you could almost feel the sigh of relief from some of my family. My grandma even ran out to the toy store and bought him a plastic gun; something more "fit for a boy." I was really surprised at how some of the members of my family had acted in this situation. They had always tried to teach me tollerance and acceptance, but seemed scared to death that my brother might be gay when he asked for a Barbie. I know that my family is loving, and probably would have been okay with it in the long run if my brother were in fact gay, but it made me think of how they viewed gays who were outside the family. I felt embarassed by their reaction and i still do, but I have promised myself to never be as judgemental as they had been.
Your post made me think about people who say, "It's okay for other people to do, but not my son/daughter," or "Maybe that's okay for the Smith family, but that won't be tolerated in MY house." In no way am I criticizing your family. I just find their sigh of relief to be very interesting. This is good stuff to think about!
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