Becoming Members of Society

  Aaron H. Dever made a lot of really interesting points in his essay Becoming Members of Society: Learning the Social Meanings of Gender, but I felt that many of them may have been lost in the complex, wordy, language that he used. I found that I had to reread a lot of his writing before I could understand what exactly he was talking about. In his essay, Dever expanded on the ways that children develop their gender identity, as well as the ways that masculinity and femininity are viewed by society. 

  I had never thought about many of the things that Dever mentioned in his essay, but after reading it I realized that many of the ways that he described how society sees masculinity and femininity are very accurate. One example is posture. Males tend to sit with their legs spread, taking up a lot of room and seeming territorial in a way. Females on the other had usually sit straight up with their legs together, taking up little space and coming off as very nonthreatening. Another example of how society sees masculinity and femininity is through clothing. Men wear loose-fitting clothes that emphasize muscles, while women wear more constricting and revealing clothing. 

  Reading this reminded me a lot of my dad, how he breaks a lot of Dever’s rules, and how myself, my brother, and my mom tease him for his “feminine tendencies.” My dad is one hundred percent Italian, and while he doesn’t speak the language or even identify himself all that much with the culture, he still manages to have a few mannerisms associated with Italian or European men. for example he usually crosses his legs when he sits, something usually only women do. He also tends to wear more formfitting clothes, and has even been known to steal jeans from my mom’s closet. Even though we all poke fun at him for it, we don’t actually mind, and unless someone was told in advance about these things they probably wouldn’t even notice. 

  While Aaron Dever’s observations may prove to be accurate for most of society, not everyone fits into his generalized groups. Other cultures, like the Europeans that my dad seems to be so similar to, don’t see certain things to be feminine that Dever would consider to be. Also, in many cultures women wear very loose-fitting clothes specifically so that they are not viewed sexually, which also contrasts with Dever’s theories. So while he seems to be right for the most part, maybe there was a bit more he should have considered.